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Oct. 9th, 2016 06:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
goodnightmoonIt's a cold, rainy New England day, and there is so much I should be doing. I should be studying, or doing laundry, cleaning my room, studying some more. But no. I'm sitting here knitting and binge-watching Halloween Wars.
Being back in school full time as well as working a full time job isn't a barrel of laughs. I'm constantly exhausted, and behind, and feel like I'm holding it all together by pure luck. The fact that I have to take accounting is a cruel joke, and I'm come to a place of accepting and forgiving myself if I fail the class, which seems inevitable. I've got a good grade right now, but that's because I've done the homework and got lucky on the first test. But I don't actually understand many of the concepts and don't have the formulas memorized, so there's only so long I can wing it. My other classes I think I'd be doing fine if I just had more time. I never get enough sleep, so I feel like my brain is in slow motion all the time.
I don't dislike my job at all. if it paid enough to live off of, I don't think I'd even be in school. I could write at night while I was at work, and I'd be as content as I'm capable of being. But I need the student loans to subsidize the end-of-life guide classes that I want to take, which don't offer aid or scholarships. It's a delicate balance of insanity and stupidity, really.
Being back in school full time as well as working a full time job isn't a barrel of laughs. I'm constantly exhausted, and behind, and feel like I'm holding it all together by pure luck. The fact that I have to take accounting is a cruel joke, and I'm come to a place of accepting and forgiving myself if I fail the class, which seems inevitable. I've got a good grade right now, but that's because I've done the homework and got lucky on the first test. But I don't actually understand many of the concepts and don't have the formulas memorized, so there's only so long I can wing it. My other classes I think I'd be doing fine if I just had more time. I never get enough sleep, so I feel like my brain is in slow motion all the time.
I don't dislike my job at all. if it paid enough to live off of, I don't think I'd even be in school. I could write at night while I was at work, and I'd be as content as I'm capable of being. But I need the student loans to subsidize the end-of-life guide classes that I want to take, which don't offer aid or scholarships. It's a delicate balance of insanity and stupidity, really.